bunchofgrapes | A Tribute to my Kitty

So tonight I said good-bye to a friend.

My kitty Emma was 18 1/2. I found her at my office building one morning after I'd offhandedly told a friend that I was thinking about getting another kitty. I already had Basil and he was used to being around multiple cats so a female would be a nice addition. Plus, I figured he'd like the company.

Well, what do my friend and I see not 5 minutes later but three kittens scamper through the ivy planters outside the office window. We immediately rushed outside and caught two of the kittens. I caught a female; Joetta caught a male. My kitten was a gray and black tabby with white paws and so small she could curl up in my hand. I took her home at lunch and of course she immediately ran and hid. She managed to get inside this old box spring I had and proceeded to yowl all night long. For such a small thing, she had ginormous lungs. The next day, as I was watching her run across the room, I noticed there was something wrong with one of her back legs. It looked as if it had been broken and then the bone just healed itself. I took her to the vet and they confirmed that's what had happened. They also said the only way to fix it was to re-break it and put it in a cast. So here's this little bitty kitten with these huge ears and a back leg in a cast that hung down like something sort of obscene. But that didn't stop her. She still managed to rocket across the room with that damn cast thumping along the way.

Emma was named for Emma Peel from The Avengers. There for a while I thought about naming her Eliza after Eliza Doolittle (My Fair Lady) because she was something of a guttersnipe but she was feisty and tough and definitely her own cat. She definitely lived up to her namesake but for a feral kitten, she was also a very sweet little girl--my Sweet Pea.

She and Basil were best buddies. Even though she was her own cat, he took care of her, always washing her face and ears, and when he passed away in 2002, she mourned him for two years. I know putting her to sleep tonight was the best thing I could do. I took her to the vet because she'd been throwing up a lot lately and I suspected she might have a tumor. Well, she had two tumors--one in her pancreas which was why she was throwing up, and another one near her heart. Plus one kidney had deteriorated and the other was enlarged. I decided after Basil that I wasn't going to put her through the torture of medication, especially at her age, when she's not going to gain anything but more time. And I don't think that time would be quality.

I was ready to make this decision tonight and I know it was the right decision (the vet absolutely agreed) but damn, it's still hard. I still have Sophie and Harry, who are not yet four, so that's a great comfort but you know, there's still this great void.

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God, I am so, so sorry.

My fifteen year old boy is sleeping on my feet right now. He has gone from 22 lbs to 4 lbs...I know its coming and its so hard.

This is the hardest part about having an animal. The only thing they will ever do to hurt you is die...and its the worst.

I know there's nothing I can say that will ease your pain, but I feel for you, I do.

And Emma was a lucky kitty to have someone love her so much, not to just give her a life and love for the last 18 years, but to let her go when it was better for her.

*HUGS*

I hope you feel peace, even as you're working through your grief. PEace.

One thing I learned when I lost Basil a few years ago is that the greatest thing we can do for our pets is end their suffering. I take great solace in being able to do that for Emma and in being there when she passed. Even though she wasn't on her death bed yet, I know she was only going to get a lot worse. It's hard but in the end, I know it was the right thing to do.

Thank you so much for your very lovely words. And you're right, the only thing they ever will do to hurt us is die.

I didn't realize what a difficult week you've had so please know you're in my thoughts as well.

I'm so sorry to hear that Emma has passed on. I know how you feel. You know it is the right thing to do, to put your pet down, but it still hurts so much. It was through Emma that you and I met. You had written several years ago that she wasn't feeling well and I sent a PM to you asking about her. Remember all the happy years with her.

N.

I was thinking as I wrote out my post that it was Emma's first cancer scare that we really starting exchanging emails.

And yeah, I've been doing a lot of remembering tonight. Emma was sort of this nondescript cat but she did the most hilarious things. To be honest though, I don't think she ever really got over losing Basil. It's nice to know they're together again.

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Thanks so much for your very kind words. It's funny but every time that I've been upset tonight, Sophie has been right there with me. Pets really are loving.

My deepest sympathies. That's one of the hardest decisions to make--but you made the right one. *hug*

You know, sometimes I really hate having to be the adult and make all the hard decisions. Thanks so much for the kind comments and the support.

Being a grownup is rarely as fun as it's made out to be, alas.

That is such an incredibly hard thing to go through. I am so very sorry for your loss. Our cat is almost 12 and I can't imagine her not being here. Please know that you amde the right decision.

I have to say that this will always be one of the hardest decisions to have to make but there's something very comforting in knowing what you're doing is the best thing for them and in being with them when they pass. My vet is just awesome too. She's been Emma's vet for 14 years so she cried with me.

Thanks so much for your very kind words and support. Give your kitty a hug for me.

:( *hugs you*

Aw, thank you.

You have my heartfelt condolences. *HUGS*

Thanks. It really has helped having the other two around.

I'm really sorry, Beau. Loss is harder the longer you've had them, usually. I cried for months over a redtail hawk I'd only had fifteen weeks - he died of an aspergillosis infection he'd caught when first injured in the nest. I cried over Kye for longer than I'd had him. But that's an exception. You were with Emma eighteen years and that is a proper long-term relationship. Nothing can take the pain away but the pain itself. Just know that dead is not non-existent. I promise (and so do a lot of other people!) that dead is only back to the eternity ring. You'll feel her brush your legs again, just because she can.

I don't know if I should say this, or even if you'll believe me, but my middle name is Emma. It's there on my birth certificate! Too much synchronicity = queasy feelings. Brass gives me far too much synchronicity and soon I'm going to sue CBS for it. Can't really wish you a happy day, so I'll wish you good tears instead. The tears count as much as the laughter does. xxx

K

Actually, having had her for so long kind of makes it easier because I know she had a good, long life. Emma was one of about 4 kittens plus the momma cat. All the others were killed by cars. I know she would have had the same fate. I think what makes Emma's passing so much easier is knowing that my other cat, Basil, is waiting for her. They were best friends and I know she missed him.

Thanks for your very kind words.

When we moved back to the UK years ago our two kitties went into quarantine. Trevor had IBS and was on steroids, the full works. He finally got kidney failure whilst in quarantine and we had to let him go. When he got that shot and collapsed in my arms I never cried so hard in my life even after losing my parents. You made the right decision, but it doesn't make the loss easier.

I still dream about him.

First of all, your icon makes me sniffle. I love Calvin and Hobbes.

When he got that shot and collapsed in my arms I never cried so hard in my life

That's the way I reacted when my first cat, Basil, passed away. He had congestive heart failure and it was definitely his time but I cried for a week or more when he passed away. I didn't think there could ever be a more loving cat but then came Harry and Sophie and they are both so loving that I think if anything happened to me, they'd mourn themselves to death.

Emma was always her own cat so everything was done on her terms. But I think a lot of that was because Basil demanded so much attention. Once he passed away, she started coming out of her shell quite a bit. I miss her especially at bed time now because that was she got all of my undivided attention.

A Tribute to my Kitty

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