I had a good friend who had breast cancer that went the same direction as your dad's. Her cancer had gone into remission for a couple of years and then came back in her bones and blood. It went south for her too.

What you say about role reversal and hoping for a swift exit is so true. My problem is that despite being close to my mom when I was younger (pre college), we've been about two steps from estranged since 1997. My grandmother's illness and death actually brought us together a little but I'm so much closer to my stepmother than I am my own mother. I can only be around my mom for a couple of hours before we start arguing and I say something to piss her off.

I'm sorry you had to go through what you did but I really value your experience. Everything you said helps a lot. Thank you so much!