My Mom never saw the similarities either. She spent years belittling Dad and his addiction to alcohol but never admitted her own to cigarettes. The doctor told her several times in my presence to stop smoking and she always swore she was cutting back. But whenever I visited her house, her bedroom reeked of the smell.
Eventually, she needed surgery and at admitting she told the nurse that she no longer smoked. I got so angry, I was speechless. The nurse picked up on my body language and looked at me and asked if she smoked. Mom immediately began trying to cover, telling the nurse that I didn't live near her and didn't know and that my answer would be based on memories from when I lived at home. It would have been funny to see Mom so frazzled if the situation hadn't been so serious. Mom was furious when I answered truthfully that she did and tried to tell the nurse that she only smoked one a day. I snorted and said sarcastically that was one pack a day.
Two years later, she had a massive stroke that left her an invalid. It was soon followed by a heart attack. The next seven months were absolutely the worst of my life. I didn't live in the same city, so I basically moved into her house so I could be at the hospital(s) and nursing home everyday. I had to quit my job and didn't see my family for weeks at a time. They would travel to see me as often as hubbie's work and kids' school would allow.
She had another massive heart attack and died after another small stroke. And everyday for those last months, she expressed a wish for a cigarette.
It angered me when Dad died a few years earlier and she attributed his cancer to his years of drinking. Like your mother, she never saw what she had done to herself by smoking. Share this with your mother if you think it will help. As difficult as those last months were for me, it was even worse for her. I wouldn't wish that kind of death on anyone. She was miserable every day of the last months of her life.
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Eventually, she needed surgery and at admitting she told the nurse that she no longer smoked. I got so angry, I was speechless. The nurse picked up on my body language and looked at me and asked if she smoked. Mom immediately began trying to cover, telling the nurse that I didn't live near her and didn't know and that my answer would be based on memories from when I lived at home. It would have been funny to see Mom so frazzled if the situation hadn't been so serious. Mom was furious when I answered truthfully that she did and tried to tell the nurse that she only smoked one a day. I snorted and said sarcastically that was one pack a day.
Two years later, she had a massive stroke that left her an invalid. It was soon followed by a heart attack. The next seven months were absolutely the worst of my life. I didn't live in the same city, so I basically moved into her house so I could be at the hospital(s) and nursing home everyday. I had to quit my job and didn't see my family for weeks at a time. They would travel to see me as often as hubbie's work and kids' school would allow.
She had another massive heart attack and died after another small stroke. And everyday for those last months, she expressed a wish for a cigarette.
It angered me when Dad died a few years earlier and she attributed his cancer to his years of drinking. Like your mother, she never saw what she had done to herself by smoking. Share this with your mother if you think it will help. As difficult as those last months were for me, it was even worse for her. I wouldn't wish that kind of death on anyone. She was miserable every day of the last months of her life.